Like many people, I am lately exhausted. By all of the
things. By all of those things. I
don’t mean to be cryptic; I just don’t want to wind up blathering in a ditch
here. Let’s just say I seem to watch a lot more cable news than I used to but not for
enjoyment so much.
But because I have had the kind of spiritual experiences
that have lead me to believe that I can control less than I think I can control
and much less than I desire to control, I’ve reflected that the one thing I can
do, a very peculiar thing over which I do have control is tending to my own spiritual well-being that I might be of better service to
my neighbor. As I have counseled many: one can always pray.
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| Now and at the hour of our death |
So on January 20th (Inauguration Day, though that may have been
coincidental. Or not. Whatever.), I made a loose commitment to renew my praying the rosary. I have
prayed the rosary (of the 5-decade, Dominican, Roman Catholic, Hail, Mary, full of grace variety)
sporadically for nearly twenty years. About ten years ago I began making them.
You can actually find rosary making kits online, if you’re looking for such a
craft. I wasn't some solemn or prayerful oath. I just decided to start praying the rosary more regularly, and that turned into praying it daily for at least 90 days
straight. And so I renewed regular use of my rosary.
Why the rosary? I do not know from where my particular devotion
to Mary came. My religious upbringing in the Episcopal Church was not
particularly “catholic” (though it wasn’t especially protestant either). There
is a profound beauty and truth to Mary, to her participation in the gospel, the
Incarnation, and salvation history. So it isn’t absurd that I or anyone would ascribe to
her a saintly devotion. I’ve never been able to explain it very well (Recently
a clergy colleague did a great job of explaining his perspective on the subject). But at the
same time, I’ve never been uncomfortable not being able to explain it.
When I was in college, I spent an entire month at a
Benedictine monastery in Michigan. Vespers was followed by 30 minutes of
meditation, which for me at the time, was intimidating. The main chapel had a
beautiful Mary Chapel and a small collection of rosaries. I asked a brother
about the rosary, and he gave me a cursory explanation and told me to pray. So
I did.
When it comes to prayer, in general, I’ve felt at times I’m
a jack of all trades and a master of none. I’ve dabbled in this and that and in
fits and starts. I’ve dabbled in various practices. But the rosary remains a
consistent part of my spiritual life. I have often referred to it as a spiritual
tether that has helped to bind me. At times from falling apart, and always to
Jesus.
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| Chain rosary with amethyst and pearls |
A large part of my devotion to Mary is that Mary, I believe,
calls me to pray.
Mary herself prays. She’s an example of a prayerful person.
Mary prays.
She prays exuberantly in song, with praise for God.
She prays quiet, meditative prays. Prayer without words.
She questions and ponders and wrestles and mulls things over.
Mary prays with wonder and awe.
And, if I’m any judge of humanity, I would strongly believe
that she prayed a great deal for her son who likely gave her fits and kept her
up at night sick with worry.
I think of Mary standing at the foot of the cross, that she
had courage and inspiration that none of us could likely have mustered to stand
there at that moment. The prayers she must have prayed.
I think of Mary whose ministry among the apostles continued after Jesus' resurrection, how she must have cared for the early church as she did her own son. The praying she must have done.
I think of Mary, who undoubtedly is among the communion of
saints, that great cloud of witnesses who stand near to Christ in heaven making
continual intercession on our behalf.
This is why I kindle a devotion to her, as an example. Mary prays, and so I pray. I try, at least. I try.
My use of the rosary has led me to make intentional
intercession for people. Very often I pray the rosary offering extra prayers
for people I know, for friends, for colleagues in ministry. Often I pray what
is called a novena. Each day for nine days straight I will pray the rosary
remembering a particular person with special intentions and intercessions. Often at the end of
that novena, I will give them that rosary to the person for whom I’ve prayed. My own way of binding them with the love and mercy of Jesus.
One of the principal aspects of my vocation is that I am meant to pray in all manner of ways and in all sorts of circumstances. It's academic. Really, I am mostly meant to pray for others. Often I pray with a fervent hope that somewhere someone might be praying for me and with me.
